The power networking expert and author, George Fraser, spoke during a Black employee network event at work about how he felt when he finally let go of his old flip phone and joined team Apple with an iPhone. He said his flip phone was good (functionally it did everything he needed like make calls, texts, and even access the internet) but to him the iPhone was AMAZING! It was a whole computer that could fit in his pocket. George reminded us that in today’s competitive global economy it isn’t enough to be good, you need to be amazing. And quite frankly, when we really start to take stock of how much we are able to accomplish at work and at home, you will realize like I did that you are already amazing.

Too often we sell ourselves short and don’t acknowledge how significant our contributions are to the organizations we work in. As a single mom with two kids at the time, I was working as a strategic HR business partner to a large corporate division with over 3000 employees globally. I consistently delivered results and still found time to coach leaders, mentor young professionals, and volunteer outside of work. I could see the surprise on my manager’s face at times when I delivered what they thought would be an impossible task. Even things I thought were simple, seemed to astound some people who had not mastered the use of Excel or PowerPoint. I surprised them with my use of pivot tables and my animation skills.

At the end of the day, your success at work is going to be defined by your individual contributions, so it is on you to help the organization you work for recognize how amazing you are. There are a lot of good people working beside you, so it’s important to differentiate yourself. However, often it’s not our skills and abilities that hold us back, it’s the game that we are not playing well. We need to define what success means to us as individuals, but I’d challenge you that if you’re going to be in the corporate game, you might as well play to win.

In her book called Lean In, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg discusses the scarcity of women in high leadership positions. As she explores the obstacles that keep women out of the C-suite, she observes that discrimination and harassment are real; mentors are rare and that you still have to be twice as good and able to juggle. Sandberg pokes holes in the stereotypes such as women are less assertive, reluctant to self-promote and bad at negotiating. She teaches women that to overcome gender barriers, they must sit at the table, not in the corner and lean in. I’d add that winning in the corporate game, requires overcoming the barriers all women and minorities face within the corporate environment. Here are the specific barriers that I’d recommend focusing on to achieve your definition of success:

1. Be mindful of your Presence. Leadership presence is a state of mind. If you feel like a leader, it will show up in how you walk into a room, how you dress, how you speak, and the energy that flows from your every pore. To take calculated risks, you have to know what you have to gain, and if you can afford to take the hit if it doesn’t go your way. You also have to learn to master your emotions which is understanding what pushes you off center and what brings you back to center. What is center? Well, the center of the body is peace, your emotional center. Practicing gratitude reduces fear – you can’t be grateful and scared at the same time. Finding an appreciative space will change your emotions and bring you back to center. The center of language is silence. I learned to practice silence by using the acronym W.A.I.T. – when you find yourself talking more than listening ask “why am I talking?” and make sure you’re okay with the answer. The center of the mind is acceptance. You stand tallest when your head is focused on possibilities while your feet remain firmly planted in reality. Finally, the center of the spirit is submission or yielding to a higher authority. Having a moral compass provides direction and recognition that there is a power at work in your life that is greater than you. Consider where “North” is for you and how you find it.

2. Learn the art of Submission. My choice of words is intentionally provocative, but there are a skill and a benefit to subordination. I mean it in the sense that you put someone else’s interest above your own and that’s something we do all the time as moms. However, within the corporate environment, it can be used to gain an advantage. Becoming the go-to person within your department, volunteering to lead projects or do extra work, and demonstrating active support for your boss’ agenda all serve to make them beholding to you. It comes back to reciprocation. However, you don’t want to volunteer for things that play into a stereotype such as coordinating the office party or ordering lunch for your team building event as a woman unless you’ve gained a reputation already for more substantive contributions.

3. Deal with the Politics. Stop saying you hate politics and recognize that politics is just a network of relationships within an organization that facilitates influence. Focus on building your support base so that you can expand your influence. As with anything else, politics is about who you know and who knows you. Your support base should include key players within your department or function, technical advisors, administrators who can get things done, people with access to information, people who understand the ‘system’ or people processes, as well as potential sponsors. A sponsor is someone at a higher level in a position that can influence your advancement and create opportunities. Having someone who fits these criteria in your network is crucial to making it to senior levels within the organization because you won’t make it unless someone is pulling you up.

4. Redefine your Potential. Organizations regularly assess the potential of employees based on how high up they believe the person can be promoted successfully. That assessment provides a target for succession planning. The assessment might consider how well you have performed in the past, your ambition and willingness to do what’s necessary to reach higher levels as well as the likelihood of opportunities being available when you are ready. While the organization will have a perspective, it’s important for you to weigh in on the factors that you can influence. Be clear about your aspirations and your limitations. Visualize what success looks like for you and talk about it with your management. Ambition is not a dirty word and we are just as ambitious as anyone else.

5. Let them see your Passion. With men is called assertiveness or even aggressiveness, but I like to say I’m passionate. I can go toe-to-toe with the best of them when I’m confident, and I’m coming from a value- or principle-based position. When you’re passionate about your work or your position, you’re willing to take personal risks. You put your reputation on the line, and you demonstrate your ability to stand up for your beliefs. It shows integrity, and if you’re able to take hits and recover quickly, it will result in success over the long run. You have to know when to draw the line so that your passion doesn’t come across as being abrasive (they have names for abrasive females in leadership positions, but you can always position yourself as trying to help. It’s what we do best).

6. Get comfortable with Power. Too many women and minorities worry about their title. We are waiting to be given position authority and fail to grasp the concept of personal power. As a parent, you exercise authority outside of work all the time. Within the corporate environment, you can use that same confidence which comes from knowing that you have the same right and privilege as everyone else in the room. You can respect the authority inherent in a position and at the same time exercise your ability to influence a decision and even impose your ideas. The one thing that always increases my confidence and my credibility is to know why I’m involved in a meeting or a project. Knowing the hat that I’m wearing clarifies for me and everyone else that I deserve my seat at the table. Then you can assert yourself from a position of knowledge and or experience.

We can be our own worst critics, and I had statistics working against me as a single mom in Corporate America. I had this unrealistic desire to be the perfect mom with a successful career, but I realized that it was up to me to identify what success meant and not let others define it for me. I carefully created a reputation for myself within the company based on my strengths and clearly articulated my career goals. Where I had once been scared the bottom would fall out of my career after I got divorced –and maybe it did from some people’s perspective – I’ve since had lots of opportunities to continue growing professionally and to expand my impact within the company. It takes courage to stand up to the many barriers that are faced by women and minorities in the workplace. The statistics may paint a picture, but it’s not a picture of me. I’m amazing!

Seventeen years ago, I found out the company I worked for would be going through the biggest merger in history. Now after learning many lessons from that experience and going through even more subsequent organizational changes, I have a few tips for those impacted by two companies coming together to form a new entity. Mergers are milestone career events. Some people will be paralyzed with fear while others will begin jockeying for position, however, everyone will go through their own personal transition. The culture of the new organization will take years to form but initially you have to find your way through the confusion that settles over both organizations immediately after a merger announcement. Here are a few tips for navigating through the fog:

1. Try to understand the case for change.

 Most people look at a merger from the perspective of how it will impact them but, if you can, try to identify the benefits of the change from a neutral perspective. This will position you well when talking to leaders involved in the transition because they will see you as objective; someone who can be a positive and rational influence during the transition. There will be enough people panicking so you will stand out and you will be calmer if you can understand the business case for the change.

2. Don’t be the source of gossip and rumors. 

There will inevitably be speculation and discussion regarding the implications of the merger on people and work activities. However, it does no good to worry about things you can’t control. There is usually a transition team put in place to manage decisions that have to be made regarding staffing, restructuring, systems, legal entities, etc. If you want to be a part of the change team or the new organization, it doesn’t bode well if you are identified as the source of spreading rumours. If you have questions, ask your manager not your neighbour. If you’re asked questions, state that you don’t know unless you’ve been given clear instructions on what to share.

3. Read or reread “Who Moved My Cheese”

This is a quick and easy read that illustrates how people react differently to change. The book only takes about 30-45 minutes to read but it can be a game changer for those who have never considered the emotional side of change. Whenever organizations go through major change, they tend to underestimate the impact of the personal transitions that also have to take place. You don’t want be the one left behind because you insist on holding on to the way things are. If you have already read it, the refresher will help you help others understand the very natural emotions they are dealing with. You can share it with other colleagues and become a leader in the transition. 

4. Let your needs and aspirations be known.

There are good and not so good managers, but none are mind readers. When decisions need to be made quickly they might not be able to seek your input so they will make assumptions based on the latest information available. The only way to ensure that they know what you want is to let your preferences be known. You can bring it up casually in conversation that you are planning to retire soon and may not be around when the merger is finalized or that you’re open to relocate to new locations that are available as a result of the merger in a formal one-on-one with your manager. Don’t limit your communications to your immediate manager though because you don’t know who will be involved in the transition team. You can mention over lunch that it’s important to stay in your current position until your child graduates, or volunteer to work on the transition team so that people know you want to work in the new organization.

5. Align yourself with the new vision.

There will be key phrases in the change communications that become a mantra for where the organization is going. Listen to the vision statements and use key phrases from organizational communications to show that you support the vision. Don’t wait for someone to tell you how you fit into the new organization, identify how your work or your skills will help fulfil the new vision. Picture yourself in the new company and what type of role would best suit you. Describe that position to your managers and other leaders within the context of the new organization.

6. Evaluate your supporters and see who is aligning and who is resistant to changes happening.

New alliances will be formed with the new organization. To the extent you can, observe who is excited about the change and embracing the new language and priorities of the combined organization. Identify if you have good relationships with emerging leaders and if you don’t look for opportunities to build them. Align yourself with those who are aligning with the new organization’s vision and purpose. Engage them in conversation about the positive aspects of the merger and make sure they are aware of your skills and capabilities. 

7. Manage your personal brand.

You want your reputation internally and externally to be consistent when it comes to what you bring to the table. To manage your personal brand, its important to understand what your reputation is within your current organization and whether it needs to be adjusted. Start with an honest assessment of your skills and competencies then summarize your strengths. You can use recent performance feedback or ask a mentor for help describing yourself and your role in a brief statement. Practice describing what you do and your key areas of expertise with family and friends. Make a conscious effort to drive the narrative about you by putting the words in the mouths of company leaders. Tell them what you want them to know about you whenever you have a chance.

At the end of the day, my advice is to hope for the best but plan for the worst. When a merger happens there will certainly be redundant positions. The tips above will help but they cannot guarantee that you will get the job you want. You should refresh your resume and update your LinkedIn profile. Its important to know your marketability at all times so you should always have a resume ready. Keeping your eyes open for opportunities will put you in the best position to make a call on what job is right for you in the end. So read the job postings and listen to the head-hunters even if you want to stay. Its always better to have options to choose from than to be caught unprepared to get back into the market. If you survive the merger, it will still take years for the dust to settle. The new organization will not be either of the heritage organizations but you can be a part of bringing about a positive new culture that embraces change.

Valeria Edmonds

Is your project derailing?  Having trouble accomplishing your objectives?  Do the people working with you understand their roles and responsibilities or even what you’re trying to accomplish?  Who are you waiting on to fix it?  Whether you are the most senior leader in an organization or you’re a worker bee several layers from the top, there is an opportunity for you to diagnose the problem and be a part of the success solution in your team, your business and/or your start-up.

Steven Covey taught us the seven habits of highly effective people and they are still useful habits twenty seven years after he published the book.  As individuals, we need to be proactive, to begin with the end in mind, and to prioritize by putting first things first. When dealing with others we also must learn to think win-win versus being competive, seek to understand different perspectives and views, look for synergies and ways to sharpen the saw because people take a lot of your energy.  These are tools of effectiveness that are helpful in building a solid foundation but even with them you might find it hard to achieve success without effective leadership.  

I want to talk about success from a different angle.  Leading from the middle is what I call it because leadership is action not position.  Being able to step back and figure out what’s missing when things are not going as planned can be done by anyone.  Just ask your self do you know the what, why, how, and who of what you’re trying to accomplish.  

• Is your project or goal missing a leader?  A leader is someone who can articulate what you’re doing in a very detailed descriptive way that makes the expected outcome clear for everyone involved.  
• Does everyone know how you will accomplish the objective and get the resources needed?  A manager’s job is planning the details, the budget, the resourcing requirements, etc.  A vision with no plan is just a pretty picture.
• Movitating others to work with you requires understanding and good intentions.  People don’t care what you know until they know that you care.  A good supervisor can engage their team by focusing on what’s in it for each individual and aligning their goals with the overall objective of the project or goal.
• Finally, nothing replaces the effort required to get things done.  Leadership is also about execution which is why people respect leaders with experience and those who know what it takes to accomplish the goal.  

When you think of yourself as having all of these roles, you can be successful in any endeavor.  So are you missing a leader, a manager, a supervisor or an employee?

I went to another women’s networking event recently.   The speakers at this event challenged the attendees to close “the confidence gap” and take action toward financial independence . We were reminded that too often, women don’t speak up in meetings, fight for equal pay, or learn how to build wealth so that they have more freedom of choice to go after their dreams. All good messages, but I walked away from it thinking that I was not the stereotypical female that they referenced.

Having survived over 25 years in a corporate environment, I have often felt the need to prove that I am not whatever someone is assuming I am because I am Black and female. It makes me angry when people make assumptions about who I am because of external characteristics.  I am very confident (not arrogant) and have always been comfortable sharing my perspective in meetings where I’m the only Black and only woman. I learned very early to manage my personal finances, to save and invest. I married and remarried not because I needed a man to take care of me, but because I valued having a life partner.  Yes, I’m black. I’m a woman. And I’ve also been divorced so I wore the label ‘single mom’ as well. However, whatever those labels would have you think, you can’t possibly know me with that limited amount of information. 

 What I’ve learned is that people will make assumptions, so it’s up to me to let them know who I am. I know that I have an opportunity to reshape stereotypes so I try to be as transparent as I can be when building relationships. Whether it’s on the job, talking to teachers and counselors at my kid’s school, or seeking out a coaching engagement — I don’t want people making decisions that will affect me or mine based on assumptions.  It’s important to let people know your preferences and opinions when they are working on your behalf.  In meetings, your voice is important because there is power in having diverse opinions and experiences weigh in on business challenges.  In relationships, you want to be appreciated for who you are and what you bring to the table.  So it’s important to be yourself at all times.

Not everyone likes a confident, opinionated, career-oriented, independent woman so I don’t expend energy trying to win people over.  My confidence comes from knowing that I have been uniquely and wonderfully created by God for a purpose.  I refuse to shrink so that someone else can feel better about themselves but I am more than willing to share the spotlight while I shine. It’s important for our daughters to know that it’s okay to be who ever God created them to be. I know that the world is watching, so I’m unapologetically me.